


Everybody hates Fitz's dad

by AutisticFitz



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Autistic Jemma Simmons, Autistic Leo Fitz, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:13:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28180710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticFitz/pseuds/AutisticFitz
Summary: Jemma thought it was time she told Fitz that she suspected he might be autistic. This brought back painful childhood memories of his father, which Fitz needs to process.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	Everybody hates Fitz's dad

**Author's Note:**

> TW abuse, ableism, r word
> 
> I wrote this to dive a bit into my interpretation of Fitz's childhood. I hate his dad.

As he was most hours of the day and most days of the week, Fitz was working in the lab. Jemma didn’t want to interrupt his work, but she needed to talk to him about something sensitive, and she knew the lab was somewhere he felt safe. After making sure the lab was empty besides from Fitz, Jemma walked inside.  
“Hey Fitz,” she said, sitting beside him.  
“Oh hi Jemma, I’m working on how quantum entanglement could be use to fix the relativist issues with time dilation,” he told her, showing her the calculations he was working on and getting into the details.  
“Fitz,” Jemma interrupted him.  
“Yeah?” Fitz asked, staring at her, putting down his papers.  
“I need to talk to you about something. Could you sit down please?” She asked him.  
Fitz grabbed a chair and sat down next to her. He grabbed her hands, Jemma seemed nervous and Fitz was terrified there was something wrong. In their line of work, they were constantly in danger, but it never got easier to not worry about her.  
“Is something wrong?” He asked.  
“No, nothing’s wrong,” she said, trying to reassure him.  
She wasn’t the best at talking about personal topics, so this wasn’t easy for her, but she knew she needed to talk to Fitz about it.  
“Fitz, I think you might be autistic,” she told him.  
“I’m not autistic,” Fitz replied sharply, pulling his hands away.  
Jemma didn’t expect Fitz to react like this; he had always been accepting and understanding about her being autistic.  
“Maybe you’re not, but I think it might be worth it just to look into it,” she said, gently putting her hand on his knee.  
“I told you, I’m not autistic!” Fitz said more aggressively, quickly standing up and leaving the room.  
She heard him walk towards their room and slam the door. She heard the sound of objects hitting the floor. Fitz tended to knock things around when he got upset.  
Jemma sighed, and went to Daisy’s room until Fitz calmed down. She knew he needed time to process, so she thought it was best to leave him alone.

About two hours later, Jemma quietly knocked on their bedroom’s door.  
“Fitz?” She asked softly.  
When she didn’t get an answer, she slowly opened the door.  
Fitz was sitting on their bed, hugging a pillow, staring at the floor.  
“... I’m sorry I got mad,” Fitz mumbled.  
Jemma took Fitz’s answer as an invitation to come sit next to him.  
“I didn’t mean to snap at you. You didn’t deserve that,” he said, feeling a bit ashamed.  
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” Jemma asked him.  
Thankfully, Fitz was much better at talking about his emotions than Jemma was.  
Fitz nodded and laid on the bed, his back against the wall.

Jemma laid down next to him and wrapped her arms around him. He laid his head on her chest and closed his eyes. Jemma knew he would talk when he was ready, so she let him take his time. They laid there in silence for a while until Fitz spoke up.  
“When I was a boy, sometimes I would get very upset. Like I do know, but it was worse,” he started before taking a short break to snuggle closer to Jemma. “My parents took me to a psychiatrist. After a few appointments, she called my parents in, and she said-” Fitz sniffled, “she said she thought I was autistic. And then my dad- my dad-” Fitz tried finishing his sentence but he broke into tears.  
Jemma held him tightly and kissed his forehead. She hated Fitz’s father so much. She already knew he was an awful man, but everytime she heard a story about him she would get angrier.  
“You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready,” she told him softly.  
Fitz nodded and wiped some of his tears with his hands.  
“I’m sorry,” Fitz told Jemma.  
“It’s okay, really,” she replied.  
“Hey, do you want to talk about what you were working on in the lab?" She asked.  
Fitz smiled slightly, nodded and sat up. He started getting in the details of his project, he was tired so he kept stumbling on his words and forgetting them, but Jemma didn't push him to go faster. She then started telling him about her thoughts on the project, until Fitz abruptly interrupted her.  
"He called me a retard," Fitz blurted out.  
Jemma stared at him a second.  
"What?" She asked, confused.  
"My dad. When we saw the psychiatrist. I don't really remember how he said it, but I remember him calling me a retard," he said, staring at the mattress.  
"Oh Fitz," Jemma said softly.  
She slid towards him and grabbed his hand.  
Fitz didn't feel like talking anymore, he was processing too much for that. He laid down on the bed and slid under the blankets. Jemma went to turn off the light and joined him. Fitz kissed her softly and put an arm on her waist.  
"Thank you," he whispered.  
"Goodnight Fitz," she replied.  
"Goodnight Jemma."

Fitz didn't talk about it again for a couple weeks. Jemma knew he would talk to her when he was ready, so she didn't push him.  
Though when he did talk about it again, it wasn't with Jemma. Fitz was an active member of a forum called All about monkeys. The topic of the forum was rather obvious. Of course Fitz had an anonymous account with the username LittleMonkey, Daisy helped him make sure it couldn't be traced back to him. The last thing he wanted was to compromise SHIELD over monkeys.  
They had a live message board that Fitz would use sometimes.

 **NightMonkey** : I did it, after paying with money and tears and a lot of money I finally got my autism diagnosis!

 **LittleMonkey** : I didn't know you were autisitc

 **NightMonkey** : it's a blog about monkeys, I'm pretty sure everyone is a flavour of neurodivergent

 **MoonMonkey** : I have DID, I still have to find a neurodivergence no one in my system has

 **LittleMonkey** : my girlfriend things I'm autisitc

 **NightMonkey** : … wasn't that already established?

 **LittleMonkey** : what? No, why would it be?

 **MoonMonkey** : probably because it's very obvious

 **LittleMonkey** : I almost got diagnosed when I was a kid but I don't know I didn't think about it really

 **NightMonkey** : Why didn't you get diagnosed?

 **LittleMonkey** : My dad

 **MoonMonkey** : I feel you, my dad is super ableist

 **LittleMonkey** : I wouldn't know if my dad is, I haven't talked to him in two decades. I didn't even think about him. I thought I was over him but I guess I'm not. I just can't get rid of the idea that me being autisitc would proof that I'm a retard

 **NightMonkey** : fuck that word and fuck your dad for telling you this. You being autistic doesn't make you lesser, if anything it makes you cooler because NT people suck. Plus it's not like finding out you're autisitc would magically change who you are, it's just a word that describes you.

Fitz kept talking with them for a while longer. He seemed to not be the only autistic person to have been called that. He hoped no one ever called Jemma that, he couldn't stand the thought of someone making Jemma feel bad for who she was.

Simmons walked in their bedroom while Fitz was still chatting with the people from the forum.  
"Hey Fitz," she said, sitting next to him on the bed and kissing his cheek.  
"Hey Jemma," he replied, putting an arm around her waist.  
Fitz sent goodbye on the forum and put his phone down.  
"Is it okay if we talk about the autism thing now?" He asked.  
"Of course Fitz," Jemma told him, grabbing his free hand.  
"I think… I think because of, uh, my dad, autism reminds me of, of the things he said to me," Fitz said, taking his arm off Jemma's waist to stim with his hand, rubbing his fingers with his thumb.  
Jemma nodded, listening to him.  
"I understand. A lot of us experienced ableism and it makes it hard to embrace being autistic," Jemma said.  
She cupped Fitz's jaw with his hand.  
"But I want you to know, wether you're autistic or not, you're the most wonderful man I've ever met. You're smart, you're kind, you're compassionate, and if you are autistic then it's just a part of what makes you amazing," she told him softly.  
By the time Jemma was finished, Fitz was crying. He grabbed Fitz's hand and put it to his mouth to kiss it.  
"I love you so much Jemma Simmons," he told her.  
"I love you too, Fitz."

Fitz and Jemma then spent the rest of the day in bed reading about autism. They spent most of their time sharing personal experience. Jemma had always been able to understand him better than everyone else, and now he understood why.

**Author's Note:**

> There are two references to other Marvel Ms character (one's canon, one's a headcanon) because idk I found it funny. Anyhoo hope you enjoyed!


End file.
